In The elevator:
There are two girls that both resemble barbie dolls, all dressed up in their high heels and short dresses.
One girl says quietly to the other, almost as if she could whisper so low that i couldn't hear.
"Amy, went way to far last night. I'm not going to babysit her again tonight."
The other girl looks up from her text and responds "This is college, she needs to learn how to control herself, her Mom wont come running to the rescue here."
I then try to be friendly and ask, "How was your guys' night last night, that sounded pretty crazy."
The shorter one who spoke first looks up and says "we rather not talk about it, but stay away from the fishbowls hahaha."
In the gym playing racketball:
"Goddamit, I cant friggin swing this thing with my right hand."
"Try back handing it, quit bitchin."
"I would but my forearm is so stiff from that workout, we need to do that more often."
"No doubt, but come one, serve it already!"
"sorry didnt know you were on your period brah."
Listening to some girl on the phone with her mom:
"Heyyyy! How are you?"
"O yeah? Well I'm doing fine, just been busy with all this school stuff.
Well no I havent seen him yet, but I heard he was in a frat.
Yeah I have been out at night but Im always back before midnight.
Thanks! I know I am loving it for sure up here, but I miss you all too.
Well I have to go, I'm going to call you back later ok? Thanks! I will talk to you again soon, love you!"
Walking to dinner, a girl is walking the other way of my friends and I, as she approaches this is what goes down:
"Hi Ryan!"
to which Ryan responds
"Hey Oliva"
He smiles, she smiles and we never change our pace.
-Danny approaches Nick outside of Wildwood:
"NICK! I MISS YOU!"
Danny, I.... dont!"
"shut up dude, and take this bag, its killing my freakin arm"
"Lets go inside quick i have to poop bad."
-A drunk conversation among friends:
"bro you dont even know"
"honestly, i dont see why you even bother with her"
"shes my friend and i didnt want her to get raped!"
"you bailed on us to walk her home? theres bluelights everywhere down that road"
"i made her a promise ealier tonight, and i tried calling you to find out where you were!"
"shes a bitch, you should just let her walk around late a night by herself!"
"why? so you can prey on her?"
"hahahahah oooooo baby"
"whatever we are here that shit dont matter no more"
"true true"
That was some pretty good dialogue. The drunken conversation made me laugh, I never realized how funny and downright strange some people’s conversations are until I spied on them. You added good detail too to give the reader a sense of idea as to what’s going on at that moment. I think you should definitely continue to use that same style of dialogue in your crots because that’s what the teacher would like to see more of. When I took ENC 1101 during the summer, my teacher wanted us to use as much detail with dialogue as possible to really paint a picture and make the reader feel a part of the story. I need to look more at an example of how you wrote your dialogue to give me an idea of what I should do for mine because I sometimes have problems with adding enough detail.
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