The Suwannee Room
[my roommate explaining to our friend events of the night prior]
>>”Yo, why is my hand so swollen. I mean look at my knuckles man. They’re gone!”
>>”Bro, you wondered off from the party and ended up outside the easy DZ house. When we finally found you, you were punching a tree and one of the girls sitting on the porch called security.”
>>”What!?” “Haha, I don’t even remember going to the party in the first place!” “What happened with security?”
>>”We left before they got there so we were straight. Well, we not you. You kept running up to people trying to start things. I can’t believe you didn’t get rocked that night”
>>”Whatever man, it was a good birthday”
At the Fraternity I pledged too
[we’re in one of the brother’s apartments, and the bathroom is full of flies]
>>”Bro! How the fuck are all these flies in here?” I’ve been swatting ‘em all day and everytime I come back in there is a new respawn”
>>”You probably got stagnant water somewhere, dog.” “The flies will lay their eggs and then if you don’t clean it up soon enough the eggs will hatch and your fucked”
>>”HAHA!!, they must be from the pool of beer at the bottom of my trash can!””Damn this sucks. If I clean this out should I be good?”
>>”Yeah bro, you should be good.”
Fraternity house
[discussing and reinforcing rules due to events that took place from the night before]
>>”I don’t care who they are or who they with, if there are any high schoolers at a party, you need to ask them to leave.”
>>”What about the one who did the 60 second keg stand?”
>>”Especially that one; and her friend who didn’t know her limits and spent the rest of the night hugging the toilet. We can’t have that kind of shit around here!”
>>”Bro, im joking”
>>”No shit, it just pisses me off when I’m trying to keep us from getting kicked off campus by informing you of what we need to do at our next parties.”
>>”Hey guys, I think the keg stand girl just added me on facebook!”
>>”Oh God”
Hahaha! Your post was very funny and entertaining. I like how you listed three different location where you eavesdropped three different times. I can imagine the guys talking about their crazy party experiences. The "Easy DZ," house part had me laughing. The conversation about the flies was funny. I can visualize the flies flying all over the place in the bathroom. Hopefully washing out the trash can did the job! The fraternity brother sounded like he was bit angry. I guess he is just trying to look out for everybody? Oh and gotta love Facebook!
ReplyDeleteYou have a gift for creeping patrick. It seems that you took the same approach as I did and wrote the most ridiculous things that you heard in the past week. This worked very effectively considering these stories are hilarious and bring back fond memories of last weekend as I just realized that I'm featured in one of thes. Eventhough you got the quote wrong, it was still a good effort considering the circumstance. The end of the third one is especially funny because I think she requested everyone on facebook the next day since I am somehow friends with her too.
ReplyDeleteFor the first comment: No, emptying the trash can didn't help. There are still bugs everywhere...