Espionage!

Two Boys Attempt to Fix a Ping Pong Table

Mick: It folds up this way.
Tommy: I know, I see.
M: This side is different from that side. See? That side is lower.
T: The angle of this one is way different.
M: I’m itchy.
T: Here, wait. Just take it off. What screw does it take?
M: It says eight. (Leaves, returns with wrench). Ummmm, righty tighty, lefty loosey!
T: You got it. We need to bend it. You push and I’ll pull.
M: That’s wrong. See how that side folds up? It doesn’t reach.
T: We can bend it back.
M: Itchy!!!!! (scratching sounds)
T: (struggling sounds, gasp)
M: You’re gonna dig a hole in the ground.
T: No I’m not. (exhale) I could hold it if my knees weren’t so sweaty.
M: This side feels like it’s gonna break.
T: I almost just want to leave it like that.
M: Yeah.
T: Where’s the lever?
M: The what?
T: That.
M: I think I’m allergic to grass.
T: I’m getting itchy too.
M: I’m breaking out in hives.
T: You got that side? (clanging, clanging…….click) Yesss.
M: Good. I need a shower, ritenow.
T: Does that mean…we have to leave?
(Awkward pause)
M: Yeah. Sorry.
T: Alright.

Is something burning? (concerned mother, excited toddler, two boys play video games)

Mick: Something is burning.
Tommy: Yeah.
M: Is the oven still on?
Enzo: Yeack!!!
M: Enzo keep still! I’m gonna bite your ear. Nahh, ah.
(Ten Minutes Later)
Mick’s Mother: What is burning? (Vanishes upstairs)
(Ten Minutes Later)
MM: Mickey, I smell burning.
T: Yeah.
MM: Is it just me?
M: No I noticed. I said something about it a while ago.
MM: Then where is it coming from. Is it the oven? (searches kitchen)
(everyone rises)
M: It think it’s coming from someone’s computer.
T: Haha, oh noooooo!
M: No, I think it really is. (sniffs) Maybe not. (Shuffles) In here?
(opens door)
M: Whew! It’s the bathroom, guys!
T: What? Do you see all that smoke?
M: I’m scared to go in there.
MM: Ohhhh, open windows! Open doors!
T: Look at all that smoke!
MM: OHHH NOOO! How did it happen?!
M: The cabinet.
T: (Darts in, covers mouth, pulls knob. Electrical glowing and bundles of smoke issues from underneath smoldering washcloths) (Gags)
M: What is that?
MM: The lamp? OHHH, who would have plugged that IN???
M: Those washcloths are on fire!
MM: Oh, someone unplug it!!! (minces forward, backs away).
T: (reaches in cabinet. Glowing lamp and washcloths fall to ground, chips of black matter scatter.) (gags)
MM: Thanks. Those washcloths are burning! We should put water on—
M+T: NOO!
T: NO! That’s electrical! It’s unplugged, but still!
MM: We can put them in sink.
E: (Bounces up and down) Yeapupyeaah! (laughs, prances near bathroom)
M: Enzo, stay away.
MM: We should call electrician!
MM: Mickey, dial the electrician!
M: (looks at phone) Ryan just lost his job.
T: That’s so much smoke. My head…
E: (bounces, laughs)
M: Get him.